I was walking home one day from school wishing it wasn’t 12 hours long. I went to stop for a look at the candy store but, there was no candy store only a dark ally. I saw there was something. Also a instrument playing. It was playing completely out of tune. I went to see who it was and it was a sad and lonely man with a mask. His finger nail on one of his fingers was off. I gave him a ban-aid. After a few days I finely took off his mask. Razor teeth was everywhere. He ate me.
- DJ Maggie week 20 100WC
- music class
4 thoughts on “the broken instrument”
Your 100wc was really good I liked how it was scary.
Thank you. I am thinking of making a scary story series.
Ooh Lilian, this sounds scary. I’m also concerned about your long 12 hour day!
Reading these three sentences …….
‘ I saw there was something. Also a instrument playing. It was playing completely out of tune.’
I wonder if you could think of a way to ‘show, not tell’ what you saw and heard in one sentence. What do you think?
Thanks for sharing,
Jackie (Team 100 WC)
thanks for the feed back will try to use show not tell