One day, I was walking in the park and I saw a ladybug approaching me, “Hi little ladybug!” I said as I reached down to pick it up. The ground started to shake. “Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Their invading!” somebody shouted. And then I saw them… the lady bugs! There were hundreds of thousands of them! “HELP!” I shouted. Just then, a guy jumped out of a moving truck. “Here!” He said as he handed me a laser gun. “Kill the ladybugs!” he shouted. So I did. “EVERYONE GRAB A LASER GUN!” I shouted. That’s when I woke up. I couldn’t believe it!
Delaney, i like your story but at the beginning i feel like it was a little bit boring because it was just ” i was walking,i saw a lady bug ” it was just kinda boring, not to be rude but it got better.
it was awesome
Good job I feel like you could’ve had more detail