” Stop it!” I yelled. I was so cross that I wanted to make my brother disappear. He wouldn’t listen. He kept kicking his soccer ball against the wall ” ROLL, ROLL, THUMP! ROLL, ROLL, THUMP!” I couldn’t take it, and neither could my friend we stood up walked over to him and while I tackled him my friend took away his ball. ” VICTORY!” I yelled but not for long. my brother ran away and got my mom. “oh my,” I thought. “Joelle get up here my” mom hollered “this isn’t going to go over to well with her” I thought.
I love the story but found some capitalization mistakes but overall VERY GOOD JOB!